Faithfully Frazzled

How does one even attempt to pay homage to the person who raised you? The person who may not have birthed you but who gave you an actual life worth living? Who guided you towards being truly human while remaining true to your heavenly Creator? I don’t have the first clue how to do justice to my angel of a mother but I will try.

When people speak of my mother they say things like warm, loving, sweet, positive, “so funny”, “the best”, and it’s not hyperbole. It’s the literal truth. When you think of what a quintessential mother should look like, you need look no further than Jenny Peters. It’s also what made her the archetypal elementary school teacher. She was someone you wanted to rub your back when you were upset but you did not want to upset in return. Her disappointed teacher look was fearsome! She had the voice of an angel but the gravitas of a grownup who commanded immediate respect.

I grew up thinking it was strange that people considered their parents their friends. I personally had a very healthy respect for both of my parents, (whether or not my frequent eye-rolling said otherwise!). That was the most insolence I dared because I not only loved but didn’t want to disappoint my parents. Mom and Dad lived lives that I wanted to emulate … and not out of fear but of admiration.

Was my mom perfect? No. Who is? But was she a saint in the truest sense? Well, what is the definition of a saint? It’s said a saint is a person who lived a holy life worthy of emulating. That was 100% Jenny. Mom was well regarded in every area of her life. If she ever had an enemy I was not aware of it. As a star soprano at Capital University, to a confident choir director at Christ Lutheran Church in El Cerrito, to a beloved first grade teacher at El Sobrante Christian School she excelled at every endeavor she set before herself. Professionally and personally, she was dedicated to offering her utmost and was known for going above and beyond what most people would do. Her attention to detail and ability to make everyone feel loved and included was unmatched. This is the woman who threw countless dinner parties for seminarians and visiting professors. This is the woman who made Portuguese Easter Bread every year for all of her choir members and cross-stitched baby ornaments for just about every newborn she ever came across. Raise your hand if you have a “God gave us______” ornament hanging in your house somewhere or on your Christmas tree or a personalized wedding gift? She was an indefatigable crafter! Personalized quilts, crossword pillows, sweaters made with yarn you may have brought back from Scotland….the list goes on and on! She rarely made things for herself. Such was her need to make others feel special and appreciated.

My two siblings, Paul and Kathy Kim, are 3 and 4 years older than I am and were a lot more independent. As the youngest I was dragged around (or so I thought) to most of mom’s activities. At the time I sometimes wished I’d had a little more autonomy; but as a mother myself later in life, I am profoundly grateful for the time I spent with her. I still have no clue how she had the time, but she was known to pick people up when they needed a ride somewhere, whether it was church or school or elsewhere. She was the original Uber. She ran a “choir chime” bell choir at the local Lutheran nursing home, and I was her trusty assistant. She helped run the women’s auxiliary for Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary. When I was accepted at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music in high school, she drove me across the Golden Gate Bridge every week for lessons.

My father, bless him, had a habit of bringing home “strays”, both of the human and animal variety. Now, I can’t put this entirely on him. We, all of the Peters, had a penchant for wanting to help the less fortunate, and so there were very few times growing up where just the five of us were living in our house. There were always “extras”. Seminarians, friends of us kids’, un-housed people from the greater Bay Area – and my mom cared for and fed ALL OF US. How? To this day, I still don’t know. In the Orthodox Church tradition that my husband and I are a part of, there is a class of saint known as Wonderworkers and still another called Holy Unmercenaries, or those who charge nothing for their services. I’m pretty sure Jenny Peters classifies as both.

Another word that comes to mind when I think of my beautiful mother is magnanimous. Her capacity for graciousness and forgiveness was legendary. Mom always wanted to live without holding grudges and craved for peace to reign supreme. She was able to live a life without holding grudges, and it was truly inspiring.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the physical pain mom lived with for most of her adult life. She’d had over 30 surgeries but always tried not to let those impediments hold her back. She adored traveling to far-flung places, and I truly believe some of her empathetic spirit was developed through experiencing other cultures. She was raised in Cincinnati and here in Columbus, but through her travels she had a heart for people of all persuasions.

Saintly, indefatigable, magnanimous … maybe not the first words that come to mind when you think of your mother, but they are accurate for mine. Holy, mighty, forgiving…pretty God-like qualities if you ask me. If ever the verse from Matthew 25, “well done good and faithful servant” applied to anyone, it would surely apply to my mother, Jenny Peters.