Faithfully Frazzled

I don’t know about you but every New Year’s Eve I sense I’m supposed to feel something. What? I just don’t know. Everyone’s reflecting on the past year. Everyone’s posting their New Year’s traditions. Me? I have a vague idea that I’m supposed to be thinking deep, contemplative thoughts, and have a forced sense of excitement in the potential for renewal in the coming year. If you don’t know me personally, I think people would tell you that I’m generally a very good-natured, fun-loving goofball, but I cannot force it if it doesn’t come naturally. Maybe it’s my pragmatism…. Maybe it’s the Orthodox Christian ideal of every day, every moment working toward theosis – a tricky concept to explain but, in a nutshell it says that by inviting the Holy Spirit to dwell in us we can participate in God’s divine essences. We don’t become “little demigods or demiurges” by any means, but we draw ever closer to having union with God. Anyway, I’m not trying to get super theological here but when the focus of your daily life is a continual journey in the direction of “self-betterment” and “self-emptying” (kenosis), New Year’s resolutions and reminiscing feels kind of vapid, you know?!

I’m seriously not trying to be a Debbi Downer here but after losing my beloved mother a few weeks ago, I’m feeling even less inclined to make plans for the future. I am keenly aware of what I’ve lost and the healing journey will be long and storied, and frankly, I’m here for it. Bring it on. There was so much love in that woman that I can marinate and stew in it for years to come. There’s pain, obviously, but so much beauty too.

Recently at coffee hour after church a young adult I’ve known for many years told me that he had finally stopped dragging his feet and had decided to begin seminary studies. Having grown up in and around various seminaries, including attending one myself, I’ve seen all kinds of people on their path to possible ordination, but it’s certainly not always a slam dunk. When I cheekily asked this young man how he’d like to see his future unfold, he shocked me with his maturity and wisdom. He said, “I’ve seen what happens when people make plans but God’s got other ideas!” Truer words, my dear! Truer words… We laughed about the old Yiddish saying, “Man plans, God laughs.” I don’t personally subscribe to this view of God, but point taken. I don’t think he’s up there cackling when we do stupid things! Nah. I like to think He’s just taking some deep breaths on our behalf like an, “I’m not upset, just disappointed,” kind of vibe. 😂

To plan one’s life and future is usually seen as wise and sensible but the truth of the matter is that tomorrow is not promised. We can speculate as to how the near future will play out based on facts and statistics but the reality is that nothing is certain. The good news is, this is the part where hope comes into the picture. The New Year does give us the sense of a clean slate, as it were. Nothing’s actually changed except the date, and maybe our perspective. 😉 If we choose to, any day can be a clean slate for us, not just New Year’s, but if it gives you a good excuse to begin anew, by all means! Sally forth! Tally ho! Git er done!

May God surround you all in His love and grant peace and comfort in the coming year.